If you enjoy what you read here you will also enjoy my novel
21 days in May
Please be aware this blog may be considered Illegal almost anywhere!

Religion Causes Hedge Rage

or possibly; Put down the pen and step away from the bible :)

Buddha hedge couple, victims of hate campaign by religious villagers
"The owners of a rural garden nursery have been threatened by religious fanatics after they created a topiary Buddha from one of their box hedges.  
Days after the leafy sculpture had been completed Raymond and Sacha Hubbard were shocked to receive an anonymous letter criticising them for having the idol of worship in the grounds of their home, once a vicarage.
The poison pen letter criticised Mr Hubbard for introducing something foreign into Hill House Nurseries in Landscove, Devon."

Article and Picture of the offensive hedge Here Further Quotes from Totnes Times

You see now, here are all the problems with faith in a complete nutshell

1. Ignorance
Probably because of the lack of a wide reading list, the christian misunderstands the meaning of a Buddha statue. Buddha is not worshipped as a god or prophet but more revered as a mentor i.e. not as a Christian understands 'idol'.
However, why be offended by a rendering of the Buddha when people have always had replicas of Aphrodite, Pan, Goblins, Gnomes; all manner of paranormal beast and nobody even batted a pompous eyelid! Come to think of it...
Trevi Fountain
...the Trevi Fountain, in the heart of the unHoly Roman Empire depicts Neptune, the sea god, in a chariot pulled by seahorses and guided by mythological sea creatures, was commissioned initially by Pope Urban VIII and then Pope Clement XII had it completed!!wikipedia

And, I ask you, topiary! How completely frivolous - it's not set in stone!
I mean, I'm pissed about the enormousness, monstrous depiction of humanity's subjugation in Rio de Janeiro...
Rio Christ Statue
... but you don't see me planning a daring, dead of night hang-gliding commando raid to plant plastic explosive with remotely activated detonators at the fifteen critical stress points, do you?
Ooh, I may have said too much there, forget everything I just said!
Err.. Yeah, Topiary - it comes in all shapes and sizes, I even seen locally a passable Wallace but, sadly, not Gromit :(

2. Supremacist Doctrine
Because the Christian believes it is 'on the path of righteousness', following the 'right' god, so to speak, it feels it can dictate the shape of other peoples personal hedges!!
For me, believing that 'your' god is 'THE' god is clearly a superiority complex.
And no believer of any of the Abrahamic religions can legitimately claim they don't feel superior. I mean, really, is anyone going to follow a god who is only a bit good? Or one who makes your feel inferior?
Let's face it, if humanity were to survive and multiply for eternity, not one single human would ever hear another human utter the words...
"I follow that subordinate god, the one who's a lesser version of the other god's. Not supreme at all really, couldn't even have me in a fight. He's a bit crap and the after death benefits are shocking but hey, that's life!"
"Knowing" they are following the 'righteous' supreme god imbues the religious devotee with that pomposity and air of superiority; the demeanour of the supremacist which the righteous faithful so often display.
Every atheist has heard the words "You'll see the light one day" to which I often feel the urge to respond "Please take your supremacist dogma and fuck off, you ignorant religoscum!" but as that so often seems to cause offence I rarely am so direct.

Why aren't we as intolerant of religio-fascism as we are of the Nazi's or Taliban?

3. Magic & Demons and Curses! Oh My!!
WTF, this is 2011, right? I mean, we didn't just slip back to the dark ages since I last looked at the calendar, did we? Are we also likely to hear news of the latest alchemical recipes and accompanying incantation techniques in the Lancet? Or see withered old crones persecuted for selling herbs cheaper than the local clergy?
Curses! F.F.S.

But where are they getting this medieval bollocks from?? Is this christian serving up wrath and venom on it's own? Did it come to the decision to deliver notification of the wrath of god alone. This is probably not an instance in which we can blame the parents!
No, I tell you, as is often the case, at the heart of nest of vipers is a, er... viper. Or in this case Vicar, the village's chief believer in magic and demons and curses.
"They are nice people at Hill House - very nice people. I think it is very sad that they have been threatened with a curse."
Oh, his comments seem all sweetness & light, and blissfully unaware of the support he's giving to the pompous poisonous penner but the font of infection is supported from his pulpit, he enshrines the ridiculous concept of magical powers weekly - from his church doth the magic thinking leap forth to corrupt the easily led. Clearly, for me at least, he is bolstering the belief in the paranormal underpinning the word 'curse', promoting the notion that a supernatural force or god is ACTUALLY ready to wield his conjouring stick and smite or trounce, whichever his mood takes, the unbelievers should they er.. un-believe.

I say, you want to catch this clearly demented individual and put them somewhere where they ought to be, with nice soft walls and plenty of chemical what-have-you, I say go to the source -arrest and interrogate the Vicar for theological grooming.

So the question here...
If you've got enough time on your hands and so little in your head that you have obsess about topiary which has a vague resemblance to Buddha to get your jollies, just how fufilling should we consider Jesus?

For those of you who feel inspired by the Hubbards and wish to stir up the religious nut-jobs in your village check the Amazon book link below :)

This is one of the Too Many Questions
Please leave a comment - Anything will do
The best communications are often,


If you enjoy what you read here
you will also enjoy my novel
21 days in May

Please be aware this blog may be considered Illegal almost anywhere!

Get TMQ on your Kindle

Copyright Crispy Sea

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

All blog posts copyright http://atheist.diatribes.co.uk

TMQCrispySea 2009-2014