The Vatican today announced that in an effort to modernise and, I suspect, to offset the terrible publicity it has recently received, the currently popular figure of pillory, Papa Joe, has sanctioned a range of condoms.
The Vatican is marketing the condoms, as "Total protection from STDs" ( that is, according to them, 'Satanically Transmitted Diseases.') Promising to protect the wearer from infection, though this is a claim common for all condoms.
The vatican points out, however, that the major difference their condoms offer is the Holy See's "Serving the Will of God" guarantee of excellence. certifying the condoms fit for catholic purpose.
Image via Wikipedia
The apparently much heralded, though I hadn't heard of it,
Upon...ahh.. issue, god's little swimmers are allowed to sally forth, so to speak, wriggling happily through the valves and merrily on their mission.
Cardinal Ivan Abottom, head of Vatican sex lab's Research and development division commented...
"Down here in the bunny warren, as we like to call it, we have been researching this technology for decades and, after hundreds of man, and woman hours of rigorous testing, under Chief Ratz' strict supervision of course, we have developed the Holy Colander. And are now in a position to be able to guarantee that the entire Holy Colander range releases over 93% of sperm, which excludes only those with abnormally fat, extra long or slow swimmers.
The church is expecting the Holy Colander range to sell extremely well. Everyone thinks it's going to be a big earner, especially amongst the sexually active members of the faith. I think this is a dream come for everyday catholics. "
This is one of the Too many questions
PEACE
Crispy
Please leave a comment - Anything will do
The best communications are often,
THREE WORDS OR LESS
OR ONE OR MORE FINGERS!
The Vatican is marketing the condoms, as "Total protection from STDs" ( that is, according to them, 'Satanically Transmitted Diseases.') Promising to protect the wearer from infection, though this is a claim common for all condoms.
The vatican points out, however, that the major difference their condoms offer is the Holy See's "Serving the Will of God" guarantee of excellence. certifying the condoms fit for catholic purpose.
Image via WikipediaThe apparently much heralded, though I hadn't heard of it,
"Holy Colander range"
has a matrix of one-way nano-valves built into the tip. Upon...ahh.. issue, god's little swimmers are allowed to sally forth, so to speak, wriggling happily through the valves and merrily on their mission.
Cardinal Ivan Abottom, head of Vatican sex lab's Research and development division commented...
"Down here in the bunny warren, as we like to call it, we have been researching this technology for decades and, after hundreds of man, and woman hours of rigorous testing, under Chief Ratz' strict supervision of course, we have developed the Holy Colander. And are now in a position to be able to guarantee that the entire Holy Colander range releases over 93% of sperm, which excludes only those with abnormally fat, extra long or slow swimmers.
The church is expecting the Holy Colander range to sell extremely well. Everyone thinks it's going to be a big earner, especially amongst the sexually active members of the faith. I think this is a dream come for everyday catholics. "
Pack shot unavailable - so here are some colanders
More details as I get 'em.
More details as I get 'em.
PEACE
Crispy
Please leave a comment - Anything will do
The best communications are often,
THREE WORDS OR LESS
OR ONE OR MORE FINGERS!
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