Since their spaceship first appeared a little over 24 hours ago and the single radio communication from their beleaguered vessel, the country, indeed the whole world has been awash with the story of the star traveller's malfunctioning hyper-drive engines which brought them crashing from subspace to almost collide with our beautiful moon.
The latest update I'm hearing is that they've stabilised life support for the 200 hundred crew but there's still insufficient power for navigation or communications. They can still only communicate with us one call at a time.
In the past few hours dignitaries have been gathering from all over the globe for this first meeting between human and extraterrestrial life; a global collection of heads of state, all here to welcome this new era.
As it's the USA they first contacted they are landing in front of the White House where the president will greet them.
Here they come listeners, a small bright blue egg-shaped capsule with what looks like peacocks tail feathers twisting and fluttering above it as it descends.
It's decelerating, the tail feathers are spreading more like a helicopter, landing feet are extending out from beneath, and, it's, down. Oh lovely, the tail feathers have settled around the egg like a gossamer canopy.
A door is open, tilting out and down, there are steps on the back of the door that extend up into the interior. A similar blue colour.
I see feet two pairs of shoes no, boots; their feet are a little longer than ours. They have skirts or a tunic, there are belts with identical buckles and, it's definitely a tunic. Bare armed, their skin is dark, I think it's actually Greeny-blue, their faces are kind of lizard like though flatter and their eyes are bigger, they have round jowled jaw-lines and bulbous noses.
The president is stepping forward and holding out her hand, a moment's hesitation and the visitors hold out their hands in response; they have only three fingers, ladies and gentlemen.
As they shake hands, let's go to the external mic and hear what's being said.
With a practiced wide smile but trembling voice the president offered a simple, "Welcome to Earth."
"Thank you President and Earth leaders. You know of our plight; we are in need of supplies and have decided we ARE willing to trade technology for some of your water, biomass and resources to make our repairs."
"Well that's just wonderful and, as God is my witness, we'll be glad to help in any way."
The two visitors look aghast first at the president and then at each other, exchange a few very fast, very agitated words in their own language and begin to sidle away.
Sensing something is wrong, the president steps after them.
"Have I said something to offend?"
The visitors exchange another burst of chatter and one turns.
"No, not actually but we didn't realise. And we are not allowed to. It would cost us our lives. No, we must go before we are detected."
"What? What is it?" The president shouts after the visitors, now scurrying toward the ship, its feathers already starting to twirl.
At the steps one stops, turns and shouts back.
"It's a strictly enforced intergalactic dictate, punishable in execution of the perpetrator and ALL their blood relatives."
"What is?"
"Trading possibly dangerous technological advancements to races who have not yet discarded magical thinking. I am sorry. We must depart before we are detected. Goodbye."
It's not my worst nightmare but it's right up there!
Would I so-o be ready to get all stabby and killy on the deluded that day?
If I'm honest, probably not even then.
Of course, the flight of fancy above couldn't really happen; in every micro-second of every day since the first religious radio broadcast, this pale blue dot has been happily spewing supremacist religious bullshit to any other civilization who are paying attention.
Sadly, they will all already know, humanity is still far too primitive for contact. Indeed, we may only hope that any race watching are benign and consider humanity merely an embarrassment, for if they are not, for the last century or more they could have been "slowly and surely drawing their plans against us."(1) as Professor Stephen Hawking recently reinforced(2).
on the celebration of his 70th Birthday.
PEACE
Crispy
(1) Misquote from "War of the Worlds" ~ H.G. WellsCrispy
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/H._G._Wells#The_War_of_the_Worlds_.281898.29
(2) Hawking on the future of mankind
http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9672000/9672233.stm
Please leave a comment - Anything will do
The best communications are often,
THREE WORDS OR LESS
OR ONE OR MORE FINGERS!
The best communications are often,
THREE WORDS OR LESS
OR ONE OR MORE FINGERS!
